Emotional regulation is a powerful skill that allows us to navigate life's ups and downs with greater ease and resilience. When we manage our emotions effectively and healthfully, we can respond to challenges with clarity, maintain our relationships with greater harmony, and cultivate a greater sense of inner peace and confidence.

But what exactly is emotional regulation, and how can we develop this essential skill?

What Is Emotional Regulation?

Emotional regulation is our ability to recognize, understand, and manage our emotions in a healthy and constructive way.

It does not mean suppressing emotions or pretending they don’t exist. We can get caught up in emotional dysregulation, making it harder to break the burnout cycle in our life and move into healthier habits and routines for ourselves.

Instead, healthy emotional regulation involves acknowledging our feelings, processing them, and responding in ways that align with our values and long-term well-being. The more we successfully emotionally regulate, the more confidence and resilience we can develop because we know we can handle hard feelings and situations—and stay true to ourselves.

Why Emotional Regulation Matters

When we struggle with emotional regulation, we may find ourselves reacting impulsively, experiencing mood swings, or feeling overwhelmed by stress and anxiety. All of this can lead us down a path to burnout and feelings disconnect from ourselves.

This can impact our personal and professional relationships, decision-making, and overall well-being. Moms I work with in coaching sometimes struggle with emotional regulation—either because they are suppressing feelings, discrediting their own feelings and ignoring them, or feeling so burned out that they become overwhelmed by even small things that normally wouldn’t bother them as much.

On the other hand, healthy emotional regulation skills allow us to:

Navigate conflicts with confidence and emotional awareness
Reconnect with who we are and our core values
Increase our ability to act with emotional intelligence
Reduce stress and prevent burnout
Cultivate emotional resilience
Make thoughtful decisions rather than reacting impulsively
Strengthen our relationships through clear and compassionate communication

Strategies for Cultivating Emotional Regulation

The good news is that emotional regulation is a skill that can be developed with practice. Here are some practical strategies to help you regulate your emotions more effectively:

1. Identify and Label Your Emotions

Before we can regulate our emotions, we need to recognize and name them. Take a moment to pause and ask yourself: What am I feeling right now?
Journaling or using an emotions wheel can help increase awareness and pinpoint underlying feelings.

The more we do this check-in process, the better we become at identifying our emotions and being able to sit with them in the intense moments as we attempt to regulate and process them.

2. Practice Mindful Awareness

Mindfulness helps us stay present and observe our emotions without judgment. By cultivating this awareness, we can notice emotional triggers before they spiral out of control.

Simple mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or body scans, can create space between our emotions and our reactions. These techniques allow us to create neurological calm and peace in our bodies, allowing our mind to try to do the same.

I’ll be sharing more on these types of techniques in the coming weeks. (Be sure to check back here on the GLEAM blog for more info!)

3. Engage in Self-Compassion

Being kind to yourself in moments of emotional difficulty is crucial. Instead of criticizing yourself for feeling a certain way, try speaking to yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend.

Remind yourself that all emotions are valid and part of the human experience. Our culture often tells women that we are ‘too’ emotional or some of our feelings aren’t palatable to others—which can feel incredibly invalidating and lead us to question the validity of our own feelings. Over time, this erodes our sense of self-trust and self-awareness.

If you feel yourself judging, criticizing or dismissing your feelings, start by simply saying to yourself “This feeling is real and valid.” Check in as your repeat this phrase, looking to see what feelings come up for you as well as sensations in your body. If your feelings get intense, let your self cry or do whatever you need to process this feeling.

4. Regulate Through the Body

Emotions don’t just exist in the mind—they live in the body too. Engaging in movement, such as yoga, walking, or stretching, can help release built-up tension.

Deep breathing exercises, like diaphragmatic breathing, can activate the parasympathetic nervous system and bring a sense of calm.

When intense feelings surface, continue your supportive deep-breathing practices to allow your mind to be clear and your body peaceful. Try to avoid holding your breath, which can can tension and for some of us, be a habit of suppressing the feelings.

5. Use Cognitive Reframing

Our thoughts shape our emotions. If we get stuck in negative thought patterns, our emotions can feel overwhelming. Cognitive reframing involves challenging unhelpful thoughts and replacing them with more balanced perspectives.

For example, instead of thinking, I can’t handle this try reframing it as, This is challenging, but I can take it one step at a time. Remind yourself of other times when you dealt with tough feelings and were able to process through them.

These examples don’t have to major conflicts or hardships either. We all have bad days, and moving through those hard moments helps us build self-trust and resilience. Remind yourself of all the hard days when you felt overwhelmed but worked through it. You can do that again.

6. Set Healthy Boundaries

Emotional regulation also involves recognizing when external influences are draining us. Setting boundaries with people, commitments, and even social media can prevent emotional overload. It’s okay to say no to things to protect our peace and well-being!

Remember: protecting your energy allows you to stay grounded and maintain balance. After all, there’s a reason the saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup” has been so popular and stood the test of time. Because it’s true!

7. Seek Support When Needed

We are not meant to navigate emotions alone. Seeking support from a trusted friend, therapist, or coach can provide guidance, connection and validation. Sometimes, simply voicing our emotions to a supportive listener can help us process them more effectively. What’s more, it reminds us we are not alone and have people who are about us—whether we are perfect or not.

Final Thoughts

Emotional regulation is a lifelong journey, not a destination. By developing greater awareness, practicing self-compassion, and using practical strategies to cope with intense feelings, we can learn to navigate our emotions with wisdom confidence, and compassion.

Remember, emotional regulation isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Each step you take towards understanding and managing your emotions brings you closer to a more balanced, connected and fulfilling life.

5 Reflection Questions to Take With You:

When do I feel the most emotionally regulated?
What triggers me when I feel least regulated? (i.e., Am I tired, lonely, hungry, hurried, sad?)
What habits, routines and practices help me feel my healthiest? How can I do more of those today, and this week?
How can I support my emotional health and regulation on a daily basis?
Who can I count on for support when I am emotionally overwhelmed?

Want more 1:1 support? If you would like to work on identifying your emotional health needs, goals and work on emotional intelligence in your everyday life, or work to end the burnout cycle in your life, you can book a free discovery call with me anytime!

The Art of Emotional Regulation: Finding Balance in a Chaotic World